Joe Biden Wants to Spend Billions to Vacuum Cow Farts Out of the Air

Francesco Scatena /
Francesco Scatena /

In the latest cash grab from the climate cultist scammers, they’ve come up with a plan to vacuum cow farts out of the atmosphere and store them in huge underground bunkers. Joe Biden wants to “invest” an initial $1.2 billion in taxpayer money into this completely laughable project. Naturally, the contracts for these cow fart vacuum cleaners and the underground bunkers for storing the cow farts will go to companies owned by major Democrat Party donors.

The biggest irony in all of this is that if this idiotic plan worked exactly as they claim it would, it would kill all life on Earth in a miserable, suffocating death.

A truly corrupt government official named Jennifer Granholm—Joe Biden’s Energy Secretary—bragged about this crackpot scheme to reporters last week. The reporters all nodded along like morons since they’d never had a real science class.

“These two projects are going to build these regional direct air capture hubs,” said Granholm. The “air capture hubs” are the cow fat vacuum cleaners, if you missed that. “That means they’re going to link everything from capture to processing to deep underground storage, all in one seamless process.”

The Biden regime is trying to create a brand-new industry out of thin air by throwing your tax dollars away. They’re already calling it the “carbon removal industry.” It’s an idea so devilishly ingenious that the pope of the global warming church, Al Gore, probably smacked his forehead when he heard about it. Gore, of course, is famous for his carbon offset scam.

That was a scam in which companies were allowed to dump as much carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as they wanted. When they paid an indulgence (carbon offset fee) to Pope Al to remove their climate sins, Pope Al promised to plant trees with the money. Has anyone ever seen any of these Al Gore forests anywhere? Where exactly did he plant all those trees? And why does Gore, as a former vice president, have a net worth of $300 million today?

Granholm says that the first two projects that the taxpayers are being forced to fund are located in Texas and Louisiana. She then makes the outlandish claim that the magical cow fart vacuum cleaners will suck “more than 2 million metric tons of carbon dioxide from the air” every year once they’re up and running. She also claims that’s the equivalent of taking “500,000 gas cars off the road.”

So, they just make up all of their numbers at this point because they know that no one in the credulous media will ever say, “Hey, wait a second…”

Do you realize how much carbon dioxide is in the earth’s atmosphere right now? If you watch the mouth-breathers on TV, you might suspect that our atmosphere is comprised of anywhere between 30 and 50% CO2. That’s just a wee bit off.

The actual amount of CO2, including cow farts, in the earth’s atmosphere is 0.04%. Let’s assume for just a second that Joe Biden’s cockamamie cow fart extraction plan works. If the CO2 in Earth’s atmosphere was somehow reduced to 0.02%, everything on Earth would die. Everything in the oceans, everything on land—everything. Plant life would die, followed by animal life, followed by everything else. That’s how insane these climate cultists really are.

Fortunately, there’s no way Biden’s plan could possibly work. China is building an average of two new coal-fired power plants every single week. That should be more than enough to offset Joe Biden’s plan to suck all the cow farts out of the air.